its amazing how human gets affected by things so much. things that drive you crazy, things that makes you raving mad. things that probe the falling of tears.

i was in a okayy mood a moment ago unil one sentence came crashing down on me. that just blew everything away. now i'm unhappy, blue, sad, miserable, everything that you can pull about of your dic meaning unhappy.

there's just so many what if. what if you send the email earlier. it might have been different. i know i can't really blame anyone. but really. just what if you send the email a day earlier. everything might have been alright. nothing would have clashed.

coming back for lessons was important to me. i don't regret coming back. cos i definately helped me in someway or another. i went for the trip. i didnt regret either. i made an effort to turn up. at least.

its dishearting to be treated like this time and time again. it was the same thing for SFMA, its the same thing this time round.

its something i have fought for. its already on my hands and i have to see it being taken away. i'm tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.

i'm tired of crying over the same matter over and over again. i just can't stop my tears from falling. and sometimes i find myself laughing like i'm crazy when i think about all the hopes i had for the trip. how i will be making my way to the airport, taking my first flight alone, being away for a good 2 weeks away from technology.

just the mere thought of all these being taken away just because i prioritise sch first seems stupid to me. if i knew this would have happened i wouldnt have even bother going to the day care center.

and pardon my language. fuck the teachers who sent me the damm fucking email telling me congrats! we have place you as reserve for the trip. fuck you.

i had been denied of a place just because i went off early for an hour. so if i had stayed on for another hour and skip lessons i would have been able to go. thank that fucking hour.

fuck fuckty fuck fuck.

i'm seriously piss. BIG TIME. fuck.

p/s: thanks to those who shower me with your concern yest night. esp francina. i hearts you babe! i was so in need of talking to someone. and to think i teared talking to you. <3

dodo. for hearing me rant. and asking me to cheer up. thank god you're always there when something happens. i'll have a ranting partner. (:

benjamin. heh for showing me that freaking funny vid. i guess not many ppl know i love watching funny vids esp when i'm down. it just makes such a huge difference.

munny buddy too ((:

and sweetie, i haven got to know what happened to you too. but you have to cheer up too. (: lets be strong together babe. miss you.

lastly.

pey lih. i'm so glad there's someone in the same boat as me. lets hope for the best okayy. (:

alrighty. enough. my eyes are puffy and heavy. pfftt.

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